Being a wife and mother are the two greatest jobs that I have ever had. I love caring and providing for my family and that often means that things I want are put aside. I know people joke that moms eat cold food after everyone is served, hide in the bathroom for some piece of quiet, juggle having a clean house or happy children, and frequently give up the last piece of pie to their children or husband. Those things frequently happen in our house and most days I do them all happily without a second thought. However, I am human and sometimes I want the last piece of pie.
I had this realization over the holidays, as I contemplated the remaining pie and the faces of my daughter and husband. As I served them each a piece of pie and stared at the empty pie tin, I contemplated how easily no one thought twice about if I wanted a piece. It made me realize how often over the years, I had given the last of many desserts and dinners to my family and put what I wanted aside for them. Most of the time I did so happily. However, I remembered times like this time where I really wanted the last piece but didn’t say anything.
I immediately started feeling selfish for wanting something so trivial but the more I thought about it I realized that it was okay to want something. As mothers and wives, we often end up in a hamster wheel where we give up so much for our family but that doesn’t mean we always have to. It is okay to want things for ourselves and we don’t have to beat ourselves up when we do. What we do need to do, is be honest with our family. As much as we want them to “get it”, they are not mind readers. They only know the things we tell them, so if we don’t share our wants with them, they will never know.
I also came to the realization, that it is also perfectly acceptable to take that last piece of pie. It is actually important that occasionally we put ourselves first. If we don’t then the resentment can start to build up and what we happily did will start to seem like a chore. So for my family’s sake, when sometimes I want the last piece of pie, I will have the last piece of pie and not feel guilty doing so.
Do you ever want the last piece of pie but give it away instead? Share how you balance mom guilt with making your wants just as important as theirs.