How to Find Your Love Language – #BehindTheBlogger

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How to Find Your Love Language

Find Your Love Language

Having a successful relationship with anyone requires care and attention. I first learned about the “Love Languages” as a young married woman and realized quickly that my husband and I are complete opposites. Many think that “Love Languages” are only for romantic relationships but they really apply to any relationship you may have. Finding your love language and the love language(s) of those in your live helps you to connect with others and avoid common misunderstandings and pitfalls. With just a few simple steps you can find your love language and start working on improving the relationships in your life.

Before you can identify your love language, you need to know what they are. Everyone will identify with at least one of these 5 languages and some will identify with more than one. The love languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Now that you know what you will be looking for you can start the journey to find your love language.

How to Find Your Love Language

  • Talk to your partner, friends, and/or family. Discuss the things that make you feel loved and the ways that you show them you love them. You also need to look at the areas where you don’t feel loved. What things do people do that make you feel frustration and lead you to complain the most. By focusing on the things that make you feel loved and unloved you will begin to see a pattern start to form.
  • Look at past relationships.  Remember not to just focus on romantic relationships but friendships as well. How we interact with friends and respond to the things they do will help to get a better grasp on how you like to be loved. It also shows you the things that do not make your feel loved.
  • Explore your findings, honestly. Be honest with yourself about the things you have learned and how they relate to your relationships. You will find that you tend to show love the way you want to receive love but that does not always work if the other person does not have the same love language.
  • Research. The first book I ever read about love languages was by Dr. Gary Chapman. The book was The 5 Love Languages :The Secret to Love That Lasts. This was the first book that Dr. Chapman wrote regarding this and now he has separate books devoted to teens, singles, workplace relationships, and more. You can find these books online at The 5 Love Languages and on Amazon.

Now that you have discovered your love language, you can start discovering the love languages of those in your life. Being open and honest with those close to you about your needs will help to strengthen your relationship. My husband’s love languages are Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation. These two are not on my love language radar so I have made an effort over the years to make them more important for him. My love language is Acts of Service and like most men, my husband is oblivious to these areas. I have learned over the years to not get upset but to tell him what I need. This has avoided many fights because we both are working to fill the other’s “Love Bank” in the way that benefits them the most.

Do you know your Love Language? Share with us below how you use this knowledge to strengthen your relationship(s).

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  1. says

    Communication solves 80% of the issues, no matter how much different you are. It is necessary to explain your thoughts to your partner so that they can understand you. This will also help in building trust. Nice article.

  2. says

    We did this awhile ago during a marriage retreat while my husband was in the Army. His language is affirmations while mine is more about actions. We try to give eachother what the other needs thru these love languages all the time. It has helped a lot with communication.